Courage to Change:
When I came to Al-Anon I didn’t feel. When I lost a job, I said, “No problem, I can take it.” When we had a child, I said, “No big deal, it’s just another day.” Nothing moved me at all. It was like being dead.
My Al-Anon friends assured me that I did have feelings, but I had lost touch with them through years of living with alcoholism and denying every hint of anger, joy, or sorrow. As I began to recover, I began to feel, and it was very confusing. For a while I thought I might be getting sicker than ever because the feelings were so uncomfort- able, but my Al-Anon friends assured me that this was just part of the process. I was ready to experience feelings, and the discomfort did pass. Slowly I became more whole.
As long as I kept them trapped inside me, my feelings were painful and poisonous secrets. When I let them out, they became expressions of my vitality.
Today’s Reminder:
Today I will stop from time to time to see how I feel. Perhaps the day will bring joy or perhaps sadness, but either will remind me that I am very much alive.
“I would not exchange the laughter of my heart for the fortunes of the multitudes; nor would I be content with converting my tears… into calm. It is my fervent hope that my whole life on this earth will ever be tears and laughter.” – Kahlil Gibran