Courage to Change:
I can easily itemize my loved one’s limitations. Hours pass while I list the ways in which he could stand to change.
But not one thing has ever improved as a result of this mental criticism. All it does is keep my mind on someone other than me. Instead of admitting my powerlessness over another person’s choices and attitudes, I flirt with illusions of power. In the end I am a little more bitter, more hopeless, and more frustrated. And nothing about my situation, or the other person, has changed.
What would happen if I took my list of criticisms and applied it, gently, to myself? I may complain about my loved one’s verbal abuse — after all, I don’t speak to him that way. But at the level of thought, I am just as abusive. The same attitude exists in both of us; we just manifest it differently.
Today’s Reminder:
Al-Anon says, “Let It Begin with Me.” When I identify something I dislike in another, I can look for similar traits within myself and begin to change them. By changing myself, I truly can change the world.
“Peace of mind depends on recognizing our own shortcomings. An honest personal inventory helps us recognize our strengths and weaknesses.”
– This Is Al-Anon