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Courage to Change:

In Al-Anon we learn to “Think” before we react to angry outbursts and drunken accusations. We learn to hold our tongues when tempted to interfere in something that is clearly none of our business. We learn the value of silence.

But silence can be more cutting than cruel words when it’s used to punish. Deliberately ignoring someone’s attempts to communicate is no better than engaging in a battle of words. Rage that is expressed non-verbally through cold looks and slammed doors is still rage. When I seek to hurt someone else with silence or any other weapon at my disposal, I always hurt myself.

If I have something I need to say and am as yet unable to say it in a constructive manner, perhaps I can go to an Al-Anon meeting or call my Sponsor and release some of the explosive feelings. I will remember that my aim is to heal myself and my relationships. I will try to make choices that support this goal.

Today’s Reminder:

What message does my silence communicate? Today I will try to align the stillness of my tongue with a stillness of spirit.

“…If the silence has in it even a trace of anger or hostility, it loses all its power… True quiet has the quality of serenity, acceptance, peace.”
– One Day at a Time in Al-Anon

From the book “Courage to Change”. Copyright Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 1992