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Courage to Change:

I put my Sponsor on a pedestal. I looked to her for all the answers and saw her as my mother, friend, mentor — a goddess. She appeared to be more than I could ever be; she was perfect.

One day she made a mistake and fell from the pedestal on which I had placed her. How could she be so human? How dare she display such imperfection? At first I felt frightened and abandoned. But my Sponsor’s slide from grace led me to see that I was responsible for my own Al-Anon program.

I found that the “answers” she had given me were simply her own experience, strength, and hope, along with her understanding of the Twelve Steps of recovery. I learned that the tools of the program are available to me too. And I learned that, although she was my Sponsor, we were both changing, stumbling, growing members of Al- Anon. Most importantly, I learned that setting a human being up to be perfect creates inevitable failure.

Today’s Reminder:

Have I put someone on a pedestal? Am I encouraging anyone to have an exaggerated view of me? Al-Anon helps me see that while we offer mutual support, we must learn to rely on ourselves. Today I will remember that my answers lie within me.

Sponsorship is a friendship made up of two members learning from one another… two people learning a new way to live — one day at a time.

From the book “Courage to Change”. Copyright Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 1992