Courage to Change:
Before Al-Anon, I’d have sworn I didn’t have an angry bone in my body. Through working the Steps, however, I discovered that without knowing it I’d often been furious at the alcoholics in my life.
I began to recognize anger while it was happening. At first it felt great to reclaim this suppressed part of myself — I felt more whole, more powerful — but as time went on I began to abuse my new-found sense of power. I blamed all my problems on the alcoholics, pushed everyone away, and felt worse than ever.
Al-Anon has helped me bring the focus back to myself. If I am unhappy with my situation, I can look at my part in it. I am powerless over alcoholism. Sometimes I feel angry about that fact, but anger will not change it. Today I can get angry, express the feelings in the healthiest way I can find, and then let them go.
Today’s Reminder:
Anger can give me an illusion of power. For a little while I may feel I have control over my situation and over other people, but that kind of false security always lets me down. The only real power available to me is that which is mentioned in the Eleventh Step: the power to carry out God’s will.
“No one can control the insidious effect of alcohol, or its power to destroy the graces and decencies of life. But we do have a power, derived from God, and that is the power to change our own lives.”
– One Day at a Time in Al-Anon