Courage to Change:
Many of us learn the value of self-expression in Al-Anon. We discover how we feel and benefit from giving voice to those feelings when it seems appropriate. But there’s a difference between ex- pressing ourselves and using words to control others.
Sometimes the only way I can determine whether I’m trying to control someone else or whether I’m simply expressing my feelings is by noticing how many times I say the same thing. If I mention something that is on my mind and then let it go no matter what response I get, I am speaking sincerely. If I repeatedly make similar suggestions or ask prodding questions again and again, I am probably trying to control. If I am satisfied only when the other person responds in a way I consider desirable — agrees with what I’ve said or takes my advice — then I know I’ve lost my focus.
Today’s Reminder:
I am learning to be honest with myself. I will not use my recovery as an excuse to justify my efforts to change other people’s thinking. Trying to control other people only gets me in trouble. Instead, I will promptly admit such mistakes and put my energy back where it belongs by focusing on myself.
“We should have much peace if we would not busy ourselves with the sayings and doings of others.”
– Thomas à Kempis