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Courage to Change:

Two of those closest to me were newly recovering alcoholics. During the drinking years, I had become so enmeshed with them and their self-destructive behavior that I lost sight of the idea that I could be happy even if they were depressed; I could live a serene life even if they went back to drinking. The turning point in my Al-Anon recovery came when someone said to me, “You’ll have to learn to make it whether the alcoholics do or not.”

From that day on I tried to keep in mind that I had my own life and my own destiny. Once I began to separate my welfare from that of the alcoholics, I found it easier to detach from the decisions they made about how and where, and when and with whom to conduct their lives. Because my fate — my very life — was no longer tied directly to theirs, I was able to accept them for who they were and to listen to their ideas and concerns without trying to exercise control. Thanks to Al-Anon, I can concentrate my energy where I do have some control — over my own life.

Today’s Reminder:

My time is too precious to waste living in the future or worrying about something over which I have no power. I am building a wonderful life for myself today.

As I continue to practice putting the focus on myself, it is a relief to see I can let go of others’ problems instead of trying to solve them.

From the book “Courage to Change”. Copyright Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 1992