Courage to Change:
Before Al-Anon, I believed that being an adult was to be in control — rigid, cool. Being an adult was looking good on the outside and not feeling what was going on the inside. Being an adult meant doing for others until I dropped.
Al-Anon has opened up a whole new way of living. The first thing that had to go was the control over others—it simply doesn’t work. Trying to be in control is an effective method of keeping loved ones at a distance. Instead, I admitted that I am powerless over others. Then I had to begin to put away the “lookin’ good” facade in order to share my feelings at meetings. And one fine day I picked up the One Day at a Time in Al-Anon (ODAT) book and read the pages on “martyrdom.” I became uncomfortably aware that my “do-gooder” role often masked a martyr.
Becoming more human has been difficult and frightening at times, but being more genuine allows me to have real relationships, real communication, and real happiness.
Today’s Reminder:
Today I can risk being myself. I don’t have to live up to anyone’s image. All I have to do is be me.
As I surrendered my imaginary power over others, I gained a more realistic view of my own life.