Courage to Change:
Step Five says, “Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.” But what is the exact nature of my wrongs? Is it the embarrassing moments, the words spoken in anger, the dishonesty?
For me, the exact nature of my wrongs is the unspoken, self- defeating assumptions that give rise to my thoughts and actions. These include notions that my best is not good enough, that I am not worthy of love, and that I have been hurt too deeply to ever really heal. If I dig deeply enough, I usually find thoughts such as these beneath the things I feel the worst about. I am learning to examine whether or not there is any truth to these assumptions. Then I can begin to build my life around a more realistic, more loving way of seeing myself.
Today’s Reminder:
Living with alcoholism has taken a huge toll on my self-esteem. As a result, I may not recognize how many of my wrongs are built upon a faulty sense of self. That’s why the Fifth Step is so enlightening and so cleansing. Together with my Higher Power and another person, I can even change life-long patterns.
“…If no one knows us as we really are, we run the risk of becoming victims of our own self-hatred. If we can be loved by somebody who sees us as we are, we can then begin to accept ourselves. Others rarely think we’re as bad as we do.”
– Alateen—Hope for Children of Alcoholics