Courage to Change:
I needed my husband to get sober so that we could live happily ever after, because ever after, because I couldn’t face the ugly disease that overshadowed every aspect of our relationship, and I couldn’t face the emptiness I felt in my own life. It was so much nicer to think about a future of bliss, if only he’d change.
In Al-Anon, I had to unlearn a lot of romantic nonsense in order to find a satisfying life in the here-and-now. When my husband and I separated, my fantasies crashed, but with the support of the program, I learned to look to myself for happiness and to my own real life for enrichment. Two years later, when my husband and I reunited, I had to unlearn a new illusion, this time about recovery. My idea of health was now based on living alone. I had to learn to find a balance between taking care of myself and being there for my partner; I had to learn to love again.
Today’s Reminder:
Recovery can involve as much unlearning as learning. My security cannot be based on learning “the rules,” because once I truly learn them, they change. With my Higher Power’s help, I will find some security in being exactly where I am today.
“The Twelve Steps of our program have led me to a faith in God today which is based on acceptance of the world as it is. I no longer agonize over how the world should be.” – As We Understood