Courage to Change:
One of my defects of character is to make choices passively — letting things happen rather than taking action. For example, I stood by and watched my children suffer abuse because I was unable to make a decision and follow through with it. I had been severely affected by alcoholism, and I was not capable of doing otherwise at the time. It was the best I could do under the circumstances, but harm was done, and I owe amends.
One way to make amends is to stop practicing the defect. In every area of my life I can ask myself: Am I taking responsibility for my choices today? Do I make a positive contribution to my meetings, or do I assume that somebody else will take care of everything? Am I making choices I can be proud of at home, at work, and in my community, or letting the choices be made for me?
Today’s Reminder:
Al-Anon has no opinion on outside issues. It doesn’t define my responsibilities or select my values — that is up to me. It does encourage me to define my values, to take responsibility for choices I am already making, and to make amends where I have done harm. I need not think of myself as a victim of unseen forces that make disasters happen. Today I can make active choices.
“Making amends isn’t just saying, ‘I’m sorry.’ It means responding differently from our new understanding.” – As We Understood