Courage to Change:
Some alcoholics become abusive, especially when they drink. How do we handle violence? What can we do about it?
Al-Anon doesn’t give specific advice about relationships — we don’t advocate ending them or continuing to build them. Those decisions are best left to each individual member to make when he or she feels ready. We do, however, emphasize our personal responsibility to take care of ourselves. If we know that physical danger is a part of our reality, we can admit it and take steps to protect ourselves, at least temporarily. We may arrange for a safe place to go at any hour if we need it. It may be wise to keep money and car keys in easy access. Perhaps we’ll also seek counseling or speak with the police about our options.
No one has the right to physically abuse anyone else under any circumstances. We can inventory our own behavior to see if we are contributing to the problem by provoking someone who is drunk, and we can work to change that behavior. But we do not cause another to be violent or abusive.
Today’s Reminder:
I don’t have the power to change another person. If I am dealing with violence, I must be the one who changes. I’ll start by being honest about what is going on.
“There is hope, there is help, and I have an inalienable right to human dignity.” – In All Our Affairs