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One Day at a Time in Al-Anon:

It may be that the harsh words and accusations we use to whip the alcoholic for what he has done, or failed to do, leave no mark once the battle is over. But how can we tell? How can we risk hurting another person who is already so deeply wounded by his own guilt?

Does the voice of God have a chance to be heard over my angry shouting? What is the purpose of letting myself fly apart in reckless tantrums? To punish the drinker? To relieve my pent-up feelings?

Today’s Reminder:

I cannot punish anyone without punishing myself. The release of my tensions, even if it seems justified, leaves dregs of bitterness behind. Unless I have deliberately decided that my relationship with my spouse has no further value in my life, I would do well to consider the long-range benefits of quiet acceptance in times of stress.

“How shall you punish those whose remorse is already greater than their misdeeds?”
— Kahlil Gibran, The Prophet

From the book “One Day at a Time in Al-Anon”. © Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 1973