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One Day at a Time in Al-Anon:

Al-Anon, like other groupings of people with a common interest or cause, has a language of its own — certain words and phrases which describe specific ideas. We may recognize them and use them without being quite clear as to their real meaning.

Take, for instance, the phrase: “Detach from the problem, but not from the person.” Some have actually imagined it means that Al- Anon advises against separation from the spouse! Others think it means shutting your mind and coldly ignoring everything that happens. Neither is true.

When we are urged to practice detachment, it never means disinterest. The latter would express only despair and hopelessness, while loving detachment gives us every hope of better days.

Today’s Reminder:

Of course I must be concerned with what happens to the people in my life. The purpose of emotional detachment is to keep myself from being drawn into crises of the alcoholic’s making. If I do not interfere, he will be compelled to find his own way out of his difficulties. This is the wholesome, helpful Al-Anon kind of detachment.

“Detachment motivated by love can shield us from needless pain and set the stage for a truly rewarding relationship.”

From the book “One Day at a Time in Al-Anon”. © Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 1973