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Courage to Change:

We humans are wonderfully adaptable. We find creative solutions to impossible situations. One coping skill that some of us develop is manipulating other people in order to get what we want. Alcoholism can create such a threatening environment that manipulation seems necessary. Today, with the help of Al-Anon, we are learning to do more than merely survive, and such manipulation becomes unnecessary and unacceptable. In Al-Anon we learn healthier ways to meet our own needs and to behave toward others.

Manipulation had been a normal part of my life for so long that I forgot how to have a discussion or make a straightforward request. If I wanted someone to do the dishes, I tried to make them feel guilty by telling them how much I had done for them, or I complained that they never did their part. It never occurred to me that I could simply and politely ask for what I wanted, or that I could accept my request being turned down! But I’m learning. A day at a time I’m learning.

Today’s Reminder:

Today I am creating a better way of living, free of guilt and deception.

“We can choose to behave with personal integrity, not because it will make someone else feel better, but because it reflects a way of living that enriches and heals us.”
– In All Our Affairs

From the book “Courage to Change”. Copyright Al-Anon Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 1992