One Day at a Time in Al-Anon:
Have I been trying to live the Al-Anon program? Then I must surely be learning to overcome any tendency to control others — the directing, scheming and manipulating that can only result in my own defeat.
I will not interfere with the activities of the alcoholic, or watch over him, counsel him, or assume his responsibilities. He must have the same freedom to make his own decisions as I have, since he must suffer for them if they are wrong.
Perhaps I have felt I had a right and an obligation to set the standards for the family and compel those around me to live up to them. In Al-Anon we learn a better way.
Here is a vivid picture, from the great novelist Tolstoy, which makes the situation clear:
Today’s Reminder:
“I sit on a man’s back, choking him and making him carry me, and yet assure myself and others that I am very sorry for him and wish to ease his lot by all possible means — except by getting off his back.”
Teach me to leave to others their inborn right to dignity and independence, as I wish to have them leave mine to me.”